Burning out

We burn out quickly in medicine. We work out asses off and for what? Crappy pay, long hours and feeling emotionally raped at the end of the day. Bad eating habits, weird sleep schedules and health problems, and we are expected to stay happy.

Lately the thrill of the job isn't there anymore. The medicine doesn't excite me like it once did. Maybe I am in a short temporary rut, or maybe I am burning out. I hope I am not.

I sat down with a good friend for lunch today, an EMT-I who has been one of my best friends for years. As we sat down we started with the gruesome battle tales, the long nights in the ER, our own injuries and illnesses, and jokes about the 'swine flu' cases we have seen. As the conversation continued there was an awkward silence as he played with his drink, then quietly admitted that it wasn't as fun for him anymore. I watched him as he tried to describe what he is going through, but the right words didn't seem to come.

"Hell Dani, I dunno anymore."

"How the hell can't you not know anymore?" I asked in return.

"Its just not fun anymore." He said, flipping his cup around. I stared out the window, trying to think of anything inspirational to say. He said nothing and we sat in silence, both lost in our own thoughts. Finally something came to me.

"You cannot be burned out. You are twenty-frikin-one years old. You cannot be burned out yet. I won't let you be. You need to get your ass inspired again- get back in the frickin saddle and remember why you love medicine." I said, louder than I would have liked to.

"I just need a trau-" He started.

"Bull-shit!" I replied before he could finish. "You never had traumas to excite you back then." I said to him. "You find what that is and get back in that groove. You're too young to burn out, and too damn good of an EMT to get out of the game already."

We changed the subject and left our lunch on good terms, exchanging hugs and stupid EMT quotes and jokes. Before we got back in our vehicles he smiled at me, and thanked me. As I nodded and began to leave he started again. "Dani, that may have been what I needed to get back in the saddle. Thank you."

We don't always get to save lives, but it makes the same amount of difference if we change them. I'm glad we try to do both.