Meet the Medic

It has come to my attention that I have not formally introduced myself, so I figured todays blog would be about something simple; me.

I am 20, which is incredibly young, but still old enough to deal with the things that I deal with on a day-to-day basis. And for only being 20 I have had a hell of a life, between things involved in work, school and just life.

At 15 years old I signed up for the CNA class at the technical center in high school. I did it as part of a bet. My dad and I agreed that if I did tech center I wouldn't have to do seminary. I was sold and I looked for the two shortest classes they had available. It was CNA or Vet Tech and I took CNA, figuring that even if I hated it, I would have a job for the rest of my life. The following school year I had CNA first thing in the morning, got fitted for scrubs and got given a stethoscope and was sold.

100 clinical hours in a care center and 16 hours in a hospital passed and I graduated my CNA class as the youngest aide in my class. My parents were proud, I was excited and at 16 years old I had certification to a job I knew I would love. I was also that much closer to becoming a Nurse.

That following year I signed up to test into the EMT class. I had been looking forward to it since the graduation of my CNA class and was very excited to test, let alone get into it. However, on the day I had to test into it I was very sick. My mom was going to take me into insta-care that afternoon but I insisted on taking the EMT test first. I hadn't been out of bed in a few days and had never left the house without my hair and makeup done before this day. I put on my CNA scrubs and put my hair in a ponytail and slowly got to the testing center.



As soon as I walked in I felt ...better. I did the color-blindness test, dead-lifted the 125 to my waist with ease and did the speed and accuracy tests like I was fine. As soon as I left, the cold hit me and I was diagnosed with broncitis, possible pneumonia, and a eye infection. However, after a high dose of antibiotics and a few weeks later, I got accepted. I figured it was a sign.


After that it was all about EMS. My plans changed. I wanted nothing more than to become a Paramedic, because that was a job that I knew would be all about saving lives. It was fast paced- it was intense, and it was perfect for my plans in my life.


At State Competitions, my partner and I took 6th place out of about, 20 or more teams. However, that night I lost two of the best people in the world, my grandfather and my best friend (totally unrelated). It was the hardest time in my life, but I kept going and I graduated EMT as one of the youngest medics, but near the top of my class. I was proud of myself. I did it!

The stuff that I didn't mention were the things that everyone has had to live with. The joys and dramas of high school, of missing out on parties because we had to study, but outside of those petty things, were much bigger, more important things that made me who I am today.


In high school I wasn't a girly-girl. I didn't have female friends, I didn't spend time getting manicures, pedicures or getting any other cures for that matter. I had guy friends, and because of them I learned so much. My little brother is 3 years younger than me, and there was no guidebook on how to survive high school, so it was up to me and my friends to discover how, and they saved my life.


Instead of getting manicures, I was digging things out of my buddies hands (IE: glass, metal, etc.) Instead of going to party's, I was the DD and took care of anyone who got sick. I used what I learned on a daily basis, and it made me better at what I do. I even started working at a Nursing Home at the age of 17. However, I didn't listen when anyone said that it would be the hardest thing I would ever have to do. It was. It is.


No one should have to deal with death at the age of 17. No one should have to tell a patients family that they had passed away at that age. No one that young should of had to deal with post-mortem care, but I did. I have done that, and its terribly hard. So, it wasn't a big deal when I quit working the care center a year and a half later to go into an office job.


But I missed the medical field. For a moment there I wanted to change my mind, I wanted to become a writer instead and live my childhood dream of being a world-famous journalist, but instead I realized that it was what I was meant to do. At least for now, so I applied, applied and applied some more. On average I put in 95 job applications in a month. Until one day, I finally got a call to come in and interview.


It wasn't the job I wanted. It wasn't the hours I wanted, and it sure as heck wasn't a job I could take. But the interviewer liked what she saw and a week later they had a job open for me. It must have been fate, because the very day she called me a very difficult thing had happened in my personal life and it was the open door I needed to start a new life.

Since then I have been working my primary and secondary units, learning so much about anything that I could and everything that I needed to. After an awfully rough night my friend (another EMT) told me about his blog, and how it helps him feel better. So I tried it, and didn't like it. But after a few episodes of Grey's Anatomy my boyfriend suggested that my blog go like that. And here it is.

If I didn't answer any questions about myself that you as my readers would like to know, please e-mail me at bmxchic7@yahoo.com.

Addiction

Everyone, and I mean everyone has an addiction.
It may not be the typical kind of addictions we hear about all the time on or the disastrous kinds we read about, but everyone has one. Over the last few weeks I have had some terribly rough nights at work, dealing with patients who have been admitted to our hospital for addictions- but as one of the night nurses I work with has always said;
'EVERYONE have a vice, EVERYONE has an addiction, and it will be their own downfall.'

It's true.

I have friends who have chosen caffeine as their addiction. I know members of my extended family who have chosen food. I have friends who have found themselves addicted to lighter things, like popular movies and television shows. I know nurses who have chosen sugar and candy. But we don't see most of these as addictions, and they really are. But it took someone who needed that extra hit of Demerol to help me realize this

My addictions won't kill me, and society won't look down at me for them, but I have them. My addictions are simple things that get me through the day, such as caffeine when I'm working anything more than 4 hours, or Grey's Anatomy re-runs to get me through days off.

In medicine a lot of people judge, and the more I work my secondary unit the more I realize it is true. We are taught not to judge, we are taught not to discriminate, but we are human.
I hate that the staff does this. I understand their thinking, but its difficult for me to want to agree with them. (Thank goodness we only have to help our patients with their addictions for 8 hours, think about living with it.) Yes, working with a drug addict is time consuming and hard to do, but its also very insightful.

Last night I had a few patients working on their own addiction. And I did what I do every shift during downtime.

I asked myself 'what can I learn from these patients?'

The answer is simple: We are all in fact, human. They have judgements, just as we do. They have addictions, so do we. And when they fail themselves, they feel the same way we do- we feel human.

Do not misunderstand me by any means- I am not supporting their addictions because its a painful, expensive and life altering vice. But we are more like our patients than we think- and all we can do is treat them like family, and absorb as much knowledge as we can from them.
Addiction is a painful thing. Its also an incredibly simple one.
http://www.helpguide.org/

Thoughts from a Medic

Apparently sleep is hard for me to come by, seeing that I am writing this at 0645 am. I work nights, so this is the eqivalent of a 9-5er blogging at 0200. My job has me working odd hours all week long, but the worst of it is that I take home stresses with me, and its hard to stay asleep when thoughts fly through your mind.

Thats why I started this blog. Not just to get the thoughts out of my head, but to help others learn a little bit about what we do as medical professionals, to inspire others, because we don't only learn from school or from our clinicals, we learn from each day we take on the job.

People make fun of country music, saying that if you take a country song and turn it backwards you get your car back, your house back and your wife back. Sad part is its true- but not just that, but that country music is about life- and lately life has been one hell of a country song. Patients after patients come into my care and have horrible stories to tell. Accidents and falls that keep them from holding jobs in these economic times, body parts going bad and causing unthinkable pain and damage to their bodies. I have spoken to patients whose hearts have stopped beating the day before, who had a baby and haven't seen it since its own birth. I have seen alot of things for being only 20.

Part of my rituals nowadays is to watch CMT and listen to country songs, to help me get my mind in order, that and take away the stresses. Life goes way too fast as it is- and we keep piling up the stresses. I am the most guilty of this- but I took off each stress, one by one slowly as if it were clothing after a long hard day, and buried myself in focusing on perfecting the things I couldn't get rid of.However, there are things that you can't get rid of, even if its not the perfect definition. Like family.

When I first started dating my boyfriend Bubba, his mother had an operation. When we went to visit her in the hospital it dawned on me that you really see two very different worlds in the medical field. You see the best in people, in family and friends as they come see their loved ones, and the worst in the patient, who is medicated, tired, in pain, and probably scared to death. But despite seeing their family member in bad shape, they come anyways. Because of this epiphany, I told my boyfriend we couldn't get hitched until I was hospitalized, just so he could see me at my worst, because anyone who could still love someone after a hospitlization, was 'the one.'

Since this declaration I have come to realize that your family isn't always your biological family. Your family can be friends, other peoples family, co-workers, or your own family. My family has expanded so much in the last few months. Besides my biological family, I have my friends, who I have known for years, who have saved me, and I have saved them. They are my brothers and I am their sister, and I know with them they help keep me safe. I have my 'other' family, so to speak, that if one day I was to marry my boyfriend, my 'other' family would be my in-laws, who are just like parents, but also like friends. I have my co-workers, my night nurses at my primary unit who are like my aunts or older sisters, just waiting for that moment to fall into place to take action.

Another stress you can't get rid of is work. And since realizing that my idea of 'living the dream' was creating stress, I had to take a few days off and re-evaluate. What we do in healthcare is due to a complex, or at least a mental deficit. We have god complexes. We believe we have superpowers, and so we take that and run. We are those people who like what we do- even if its disgusting (or awesome, in my opinion) like trauma, burns, emergency care- and think that we are amazing for it. But we kinda are. I mean, who else goes to work, gets to change a life, or even save a life, and then clocks out like its nothing? Not many people.

Life has so many different angles and actions that take place along its course. Lately I have been watching all my friends and family members get married- and yeah, its Utah, so its that age that everyone gets married and has kids, but its still hard to imagine that its actually happening over and over. Meanwhile, I'm just sitting back and enjoying the ride.

"Life is a roller coaster ride - Time turns the wheel and love collides - Faith is believing you can close your eyes and touch the sky -to shine while you have the chance to shine - Laugh even when you want to cry - Hold on tight to what you feel inside - AND RIDE" -Martina Mcbride