Understanding

In previous posts I have discussed my many recent visits to the doctors offices, and how badly I hate doctors when I am not working for them. Last week I spent time seeing a non-surgical Orthopaedic specialist, getting an MRI and an hour spent getting Xrays, only to be referred to a Surgeon (who I have to see today. Ick.) Every time I whine about it to my fiance, he always reminds me 'this will make you better at what you do. You will understand what the patient is going through because you have been the patient.'

At the hospital I always try to remember that. During my training as a CNA and as an EMT the school where I got my training always had us remember one thing - if you're gonna do it to a patient you better do it to yourself first. I have been restrained as a psych patient. I have had to wear a c-collar for hours at a time, I have been rolled, moved and repositioned, I have had thickened foods and mushy meals. I have ingested activated charcoal and had glucose ground into my gums. I have been the patient, but it has truly helped me be a better caregiver. I can explain the patient what it is in my own words, and tell them that I have done those things before.

Last night I had young patients, which is rare enough as it is, let alone patients who know the system, both of them working in medicine and working towards their RN. As I received report on one of them the NSI I got report from got quiet and looked sadly as he started to explain the situation about the patient.

'I'm not gonna name names,' He said sadly clicking his pen and pausing, as if he was wondering whether to tell me or not. 'But the aide last night was really mean to the patient and must have told her she is being a baby about her pain or something because all morning the patient made comments about being a baby and being in 'too much pain', because of this her pain is out of control, she is now very emotional and is not doing well. She works in a hospital, she knows whats going on.'

Sadly I nodded, whoever the aide was better not find me because my wrath for shit like that isn't right. I started my shift and found my patient to be just like the rest of us aides, a good kid just trying to make it to living the dream. As I worked with her I felt angry, how dare someone do that to another human being.

At one point in the night the patient was feeling anxious, was maxed out on pain meds and was crying, feeling overwhelmed and sad. I shut the door and sat on the end of her bed and rubbed her back softly. She stopped crying long enough to spurt out a line that almost made me cry. "I'm sorry, I know I'm a problem patient and that I'm taking time away from other patients. I know I'm a pain in your ass." I stopped. Patients don't just come up with that kind of stuff on their own.

"You are not a pain in my ass and if my other patients needed something there are other aides on the floor to help me, hell there are even nurses." I replied, continuing to rub her back. She sobbed and kept apologizing and wincing in pain. "You know, this is gonna make you such a good nurse." I said.

"How do you figure?" She replied.

"Well, when your patients are going through this and dealing with the pain you will be able to honestly tell them you know their pain, you know the situation." She rolled over and I handed her a box of Kleenex. "Some of these RN's graduate and are frankly snitty, they are mean and have no idea what the deal is. If this was light and fluffy and fun you would do this from home where you could wear your own stuff. You are gonna be able to be such a cool, compassionate nurse."

She smiled a small smile and embraced me, then asked me to help her figure out pain meds, which she immediately received and she was able to sleep through the night. Before I left I packaged my bracelet with a small note and placed it on her tray, knowing that when she awoke it would be there for her. From one student to another.

As I sat down to give report I felt good about myself and my shift. I did lots of things I don't generally do. Lots of UA's, lots of DCing foleys, and lots of things I do often, vitals and blood sugars. The other aides sat down next to me at the table and we all awaited to give report to each other. As I began report to the aide sitting closest to me I watched her pop a diet coke and chug it, then slam it down and stare at me oddly. As I watched this I felt awkward and had an odd gut feeling. Report finished on my other patients and now it was time for the patient I was most worried about.

"Oh my gosh she is such a snot. Every hour she is in pain- its like boo-frickin-hoo get over it."

My jaw dropped. "Her diagnosis is EXTREMELY painful, I have seen the strongest, most tough of men drop to the ground when they have it. Don't you dare." Then I finished report, complete with her eye rolling and her shitty comments. My stomach churned. My mind raced.

I found the other aide and asked her to keep an eye on my patient. As she agreed she asked why, I explained and her jaw dropped. We both agreed this was something that needed to be addressed to the charge nurse. I hate tattling on my colleagues but this was out of control. As I told the charge nurse she looked up at me worriedly.

"That's bull." She said. I nodded. "Dani, I appreciate you telling me about this. Its a hard thing to do, but its whats best for the patient." Then she looked to the board and quietly sighed. "But no other patient will take her as their aide."

As I left work I felt bad that I told on her. I feel bad that my patient was depressed. But I felt good, knowing that I did my job and I did it damn well.