Death- Part of the Job

A tale from Awhile Back....
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The room was quiet and still as I wandered in and out, frankly it was depressing. Silence hung on the air and you could cut the tension with a knife. My footsteps echoed into the room as I walked in and out, waiting to watch for that breath of air, knowing that each breath could be her last.

I talked to her, telling her that I was going to reposition her, that we were going to do different cares for her. The other aides called me crazy. The nurse told me I didn't have to do it. Even the doctors rolled their eyes at me. I didn't care, she was a human, a person, and she deserved to know, whether unresponsive to us or not. Hearing is the last sense to go, and I was set on making sure she was taken good care of.

"What are you scared of?" One of the male aides asked me as we washed up. "Why do you keep talking to her? It doesn't matter."

"She is human dude." Was all the response I could muster. "We owe that much to her."

The night ended on a sad note, as I gave report and wanted to go into her room with the new aide, who looked so scared when I told her the diagnosis and prognosis for this patient. I strongly felt that it would be a good idea to show her who it is and what it is we are working with. She was warm and looked like she had all night, but gone.

"So, I have to do the cares?" She asked. I nodded and offered to help. She shook her head. "No. You are tired, you have been here for over 8 hours caring for her, you need to sleep because I know you and you will be up all night." I smiled softly and embraced the aide. "Just let me know how I do post-mortem care."

Just then one of the Nurses I don't completely like or trust approached us. The aide turned to her and asked her for her help doing post-mortem care. She nodded, agreed and then told us to wait for the doctors, the call, and for the HUC to begin to find the call lists and wishes from patient and family. She touched my arm. "You did good." She said, "Now please, go home." I tried to argue but she stopped me and frankly, I was too scared of her to keep arguing. As I walked away to clock out I overheard her talking to the other aide.

"This is part of the job Hun. The first time is always the worst, but it will get better, and so will your skills. If you believe in a religion or are spiritual, stick to it, because in this job we need as much of both as we can get."