I Love my Dad -A Thanksgiving Funny

Let me tell you how awesome my dad is. We had extended family over, which includes a 7-year-old and a 3-year-old. Both we are not familiar with our family at all. They are also girly girls.
During dinner it was the usual battle with young children to eat, so my dad offered to help.

"I don't like chicken!" The 3-year-old said.

"Oh its not chicken." My dad said. "Its big bird."

Her eyes got huge then squinted. 'Nuh-uh.' She retorted. But dad wasn't gonna give up, he set down his fork then smiled at Kanoosh (my little bro), Officer Bubba and I.

"It is!" He exclaimed. "Kanoosh and I hunted him down last week. He jumped on his back, knocked him unconscious and then I clubbed him like a baby seal."

"Oh my!" Grandma chimed in, nearly more horrified than the 3-year-old as she too now stared in awe at this great tale.

This caused me to shoot my coke out my nose and all over my clean shirt. Kanoosh has lost control and is choking on his green beans and Bubba is trying to hide his laugh while I regain composure.

"MOM!" the 3-year-old yelled. "Is this big bird?"

"Yep hunny, turkey is a big bird." her mom replied, apparently not paying attention.

"Told ya so." Dad said, taking a big bite of turkey. "Feathers are in the garage if you don't believe me."

She was very well behaved after that...and quiet.

"Heal"

On Saturday I went to a Family Reuinon for my Fiances' family, and needless to say I was SCARED to meet everybody! It was a perfect day, complete with playing in the sand (and a gorgeous sand castle!), playing in the water, eating great dutch-oven meals and sword fighting all the kids (we made them toy swords). There was even a station where everyone was crafting jewelery.

The jewelery was a washer and hemp yarn and they were using modge podge and gluing scrapbook paper to it, or stamping words into it, using a hammer and a stamp set. My future mother in law drug us girls over there and we all sat down to begin stamping and scrapping some jewelery. As I laid my washer out in front of me I could only think of one thing, and that was how much I didn't want to keep the jewelery for myself. So I studied the washer and then handed my fiance the letters and began measuring the yarn.

When we were all finished my mother in law studied it, not sure what to make of it. They did necklaces made of scrapbook paper, and they turned out cute. She smiled, told me it was cute and continued on looking at her other daughter-in-laws jewelery. My fiance took it from my hands and studied it. "Heal?" He asked and I nodded. "You didn't make this for you." He said, eyeing me with a small smile.

"Nope, I sure didn't." I said as he handed it back to me. "I made it so that I could give it to a patient."

"A patient?" He asked.

"When my brother got diagnosed with diabetes he got a teddy bear and a couple childrens books and such, and he really liked that. I can't do the same thing, but I can give a simple gift to a patient when the time is right."

My fiance smiled at me, then wrapped an arm around me. "That is really sweet." He then paused and gave me a devilish grin. "Do I need to go buy a stamp set and a new hammer?" I laughed out loud.

Today I am wearing my "Heal" Bracelet to work, knowing full well its purpose, its point and forcing me to keep my eyes open in all aspects of things. Its a small thing, a simple thing, but its the thing people love the most.

Tools of the Trade

"Do you wanna hear my latest conspiracy theory?"

It's 2230 pm and I'm in the middle of a 1600-0400 shift when my nurse turns to me and asks me this question. I cannot help but smile, not because I am as into her conspiracies as she would like, but because she and I are close. When you work as long of hours as often as we do in the medical field, you become close. The colleague you simply talked boy talk with in the beginning suddenly becomes your sister, the nurse who answered all of your questions from how to cook certain meals to how to draw blood becomes your mentor and the doctors become your brothers. You become a family, and you learn to love them, crazy as they may be.

For those of you who keep up with my blog, you have come to understand that working in medicine is a roller-coaster ride unlike any other. However, tonight I have time to sit back and look around me, to study the tools of my trade. The things that make us the professionals we are.

My scrub pockets are loaded down with various items, I have sticky notes in my back pocket, pens in both front pockets and in my side pocket on my thigh I have a pair of trauma shears, two markers, a highlighter and more pens. In my chest pocket I have the patent's information, as well as any other odds and ends I may have picked up while in a patients room. Hung around my neck is my stethoscope, the same old tool I have used since I was in CNA school, almost 5 years ago now.

Scattered around the desk behind me is more tools. Medicine cups, gloves, gauze, adhesives and lots of medical tape. Our center focuses on Ortho, on bones, on muscles, on joints, so the tape ranges anything from scotch tape, so simple IV tape, silk and so many more. It seems as if all the doctors do in our unit is ace wraps and tape, but its effective, so we keep it on hand. Needles are hidden in the cupboard above, and all ranges and sizes of them, from the butterfly's (25 g) to the regular 18 gauge needles. Oddly enough, ultrasound gel is also placed in the same cupboard, but not for pregnancy as many would assume, but for anesthesiology (to help place nerve blocks).

In almost every unit of the hospital we give patients the basic essentials to help them feel more comfortable during their stay, however, they may not always like these items. Usually this includes a big basin, a kidney basin, a kleenex box, lotion, baby powder, comb, toothbrush and toothpaste, socks, a water mug and an incentives spirometer. These are also stored nearby and some of these things are simple needs with understandable explainations, but as I study these tools I smile as I come to the incentives spirometer. Its the simplest of any tool you will come across in the hospital, designed like a game, and has so many purposes to help you with your health. Who would think that this tool (pictured left) would help you with your pain management, let alone assisting your body in preventing blood clots?

My job has become a family business. I take care of the basic needs and odds and ends, while my sisters have become pro's in medication administration, IV acess and treatment needs. They take care of the wound care, and I'll assist. In the family business we make things work, and for the best, because our patients live, and while their in our care, usually are extremely happy.

I call that one hell of a job well done.

Living my Happily Right Now

When I was a kid I lived to read, and I loved to go to the library and check out books. I hated reading all the junk in between the beginning chapter and the last one, so I would skim as much as possible so that I could read the ending. I lived for 'happily ever after's'.

Getting older it started to dawn on me that 'happily ever after' was just a fairy tale, and that made me angry. How was it possible that happily ever afters' weren't real, when it seemed so real to me as a child? Unfortunately alot of things seemed real to me as a child, but I tucked all of this into the back of my mind and returned to living like it still exsisted.

Life got difficult and I was facing challenges I never thought would happen to me in my life, and so I reverted to reruns of Grey's Anatomy. In one episode they quoted "It doesn't matter that its not happily ever after, what matters is that its happily right now."

When you see so many bad things happening all around you, you begin to focus on the possibilites that you will also land happily ever after, trying to make sure that you are nothing like your patients. Sometimes, it gets to be so worrysome that you forget a crucial point. "{But} at some point you start to realize your life is happening now. Not after med school, not after residency, right now. This is it. It's here. Blink and you'll miss it." (Greys 5.23)

I had spent so much time before these last few weeks involved in anything other than my life, and farther from happily ever after than I had thought possible. I was angry, I was stressed and more than anything I was unhappy. But then, life throws things your way that makes you realize you need to be living.

This weekend simply reinforced my belief that this is life, and this is now. Gathered around dinner tables, talking to old friends, catching up with family, events that are so simple yet happen so rarely, I have finally felt like I was living again. All this time I had convinced myself I was simply 'wasting time' until I landed my dream job, or until I found my prince charming and got married, but its so far from that. Its every morning, its every evening, its going on right now.

So I challenged myself to live my life before its too late. I wrote down my list of things I want to do, things that will make my everyday more worthwhile. Singing loudly to the radio in the car. Dancing to country music videos whenever I feel the urge. Searching for stupid jokes just so that I can laugh out loud. Watching my favorite movie, over and over until its no longer my favorite. Telling people that I care, that I miss them, before its too late. Focusing on what I find fascinating, and searching for my passions. Learning from people, even if I've never met them before that conversation.

Not too long after I started doing this I realized something about life, something that I wish I had learned long before this.

Reality. It's so much more interesting than living happily ever after.

The Wiser Man

Growing up, my father used to always tell me, "A wise man learns from his own mistakes, but an even wiser man learns from others mistakes." During that time in my life I would simply roll my eyes and sigh, then continue on with my life.

During the last few days I have seen and done many different things that are just a typical part of everyday life. Things that most people wouldn't think twice about. However, some of these basic things just stuck out so strong in my mind, that the quote above nearly forced me to sit down and write in my blog today.

In medicine, we learn from other peoples mistakes daily. If a doctor give the wrong diagnosis, other physicians quickly fall into line to ensure that they do not also make the same mistake. If a nurse gives the wrong medications, they quickly create protocol to ensure that things are double checked. If an HCA charts the wrong set of vitals, we ensure that it is caught before the wrong care is given. Mistakes happen, but we always try harder. We try to verify we are the wiser men. However, real life is very different.

In real life, we don't always learn from others mistakes, even though we should. As a child, when my brother would say inappropriate things and got punished, I should have learned that I too, should not do that. Unfortunately as I child I had to feel the wrath of my parents in order to learn better. When it comes to family, some people make the same mistakes over, and over and over.

Human kind is meant to make mistakes. We are meant to both succeed, and fail. Its how we were born. How we were programmed. But human kind is also meant to grow. Fortunately after so many years of making mistakes, I have found that for once I have learned from others. Its a blessing and a curse, but it has made me that much smarter.

I wanted to take a moment to repeat the quote that my father had reminded me of so many times, because he was the wiser man in my life. Dad, thank you, for making sure that you taught me well, that you taught me right. I truly feel as if I have conquered a mountain in my life.

Family

"Would you believe it has been almost ten years since I have seen my kids?" A patient asks me last night. "They are coming tonight, so I guess I just have to stay sick if I want to see them."

With Mothers Day being on Sunday and having family in town, and even leaving town to see Family this subject has been sitting heavy on my mind for the last few days. It seems to be all that the world wants me to focus on, with good reason.

People are really strange. When it comes to their health they either get admitted to the hospital without an illness or too far into their illness. They find ways to judge their place in life by who was able to visit them, not by who cared for them upon their arrival home. They take advantage of their loved ones, and they are oblivious as to what they can do to help.

I remember when my family has been in the hospital, and now that I work in one I really feel bad about it. I get militant, I get mean, but my family gets the care they need. The families aren't always so observant, and I have two emotions for that. Relieved- they are able to get great advice and just talk to their family, and Sad- because they are unaware of the condition their family member is really in.

I grew up with just me and my little brother, and my family made me remember it, when we had our spats, like all siblings to, I was reminded that I had to be nice to him, he was all I have. Unfortunately with my family, its true. I only have one, and we are so small that sometimes its depressing. As I am learning about life, and as I am seeing families, I see more and more people taking theirs for granted- inside and outside of the hospital.

Looking back on it and as I am seeing todays trends and society, I was raised very old fashioned. We said 'No sir, Yes Ma'am', 'Please,' and 'Thank you.' We held open doors for women, small children and the elderly. If it was something you wouldn't tell Jesus, you sure as hell wouldn't say it to your folks. But in todays day and age it seems like all of that has faded by the wayside and people don't understand the importance of their families anymore.

Over the last few months my family has expanded, not by law, not by marriage, not by childbirth, but by what I consider family. When it comes to family, its not always forced. Its finding someone who is willing to accept you and treat you like a part of their family, its finding someone who you can learn from, who you can love and have the feeling returned. Someone who will help you be the best you possible.

Thoughts from a Medic

Apparently sleep is hard for me to come by, seeing that I am writing this at 0645 am. I work nights, so this is the eqivalent of a 9-5er blogging at 0200. My job has me working odd hours all week long, but the worst of it is that I take home stresses with me, and its hard to stay asleep when thoughts fly through your mind.

Thats why I started this blog. Not just to get the thoughts out of my head, but to help others learn a little bit about what we do as medical professionals, to inspire others, because we don't only learn from school or from our clinicals, we learn from each day we take on the job.

People make fun of country music, saying that if you take a country song and turn it backwards you get your car back, your house back and your wife back. Sad part is its true- but not just that, but that country music is about life- and lately life has been one hell of a country song. Patients after patients come into my care and have horrible stories to tell. Accidents and falls that keep them from holding jobs in these economic times, body parts going bad and causing unthinkable pain and damage to their bodies. I have spoken to patients whose hearts have stopped beating the day before, who had a baby and haven't seen it since its own birth. I have seen alot of things for being only 20.

Part of my rituals nowadays is to watch CMT and listen to country songs, to help me get my mind in order, that and take away the stresses. Life goes way too fast as it is- and we keep piling up the stresses. I am the most guilty of this- but I took off each stress, one by one slowly as if it were clothing after a long hard day, and buried myself in focusing on perfecting the things I couldn't get rid of.However, there are things that you can't get rid of, even if its not the perfect definition. Like family.

When I first started dating my boyfriend Bubba, his mother had an operation. When we went to visit her in the hospital it dawned on me that you really see two very different worlds in the medical field. You see the best in people, in family and friends as they come see their loved ones, and the worst in the patient, who is medicated, tired, in pain, and probably scared to death. But despite seeing their family member in bad shape, they come anyways. Because of this epiphany, I told my boyfriend we couldn't get hitched until I was hospitalized, just so he could see me at my worst, because anyone who could still love someone after a hospitlization, was 'the one.'

Since this declaration I have come to realize that your family isn't always your biological family. Your family can be friends, other peoples family, co-workers, or your own family. My family has expanded so much in the last few months. Besides my biological family, I have my friends, who I have known for years, who have saved me, and I have saved them. They are my brothers and I am their sister, and I know with them they help keep me safe. I have my 'other' family, so to speak, that if one day I was to marry my boyfriend, my 'other' family would be my in-laws, who are just like parents, but also like friends. I have my co-workers, my night nurses at my primary unit who are like my aunts or older sisters, just waiting for that moment to fall into place to take action.

Another stress you can't get rid of is work. And since realizing that my idea of 'living the dream' was creating stress, I had to take a few days off and re-evaluate. What we do in healthcare is due to a complex, or at least a mental deficit. We have god complexes. We believe we have superpowers, and so we take that and run. We are those people who like what we do- even if its disgusting (or awesome, in my opinion) like trauma, burns, emergency care- and think that we are amazing for it. But we kinda are. I mean, who else goes to work, gets to change a life, or even save a life, and then clocks out like its nothing? Not many people.

Life has so many different angles and actions that take place along its course. Lately I have been watching all my friends and family members get married- and yeah, its Utah, so its that age that everyone gets married and has kids, but its still hard to imagine that its actually happening over and over. Meanwhile, I'm just sitting back and enjoying the ride.

"Life is a roller coaster ride - Time turns the wheel and love collides - Faith is believing you can close your eyes and touch the sky -to shine while you have the chance to shine - Laugh even when you want to cry - Hold on tight to what you feel inside - AND RIDE" -Martina Mcbride