" Ambulance 5 report to a Female unknown. Ambulance 5."
The Intermediate jumped into the drivers seat while the Paramedic radioed with dispatch. He opened the side door on the ambulance and pointed for me to jump in, and I gladly did so. The Intermediate was a young guy, who couldn't've been older than 25 years old, with sunglasses, a farmers tan and a god complex. The Paramedic was an older guy, with the beginnings of balding patches, a hearty laugh and with a big smile.
"Buckle up." The paramedic said through the little window between the compartments, then with a lurch I heard the tires squealing against the wet asphalt and we headed down to the scene. As we drove I was jerked around and finally I found it easier to just hold on rather than stay buckled up. I heard the Paramedic yell to the Intermediate about taking the 'long way around' and then getting rather angry, I looked out the little window just as the Intermediate turned on the sirens and I felt my jaw drop as we headed into oncoming traffic. The road was under construction and only had one lane.
Cars swerved in and out of the way and we quickly made it on scene. The paramedic looked back to make sure I was okay and smiled, then we all climbed out of the rig. As I clambered out of the side door I saw that the fire department had beaten us there and I started to follow the EMT's inside.
"Stay put." The intermediate said, then they walked inside, not saying a word, let alone looking back to see what I was doing.
"But-" I started after them, then stopped and I sighed, unsure about how to take it.
"Trust me darlin', you'll be glad you listened." One of the firefighters quirked up from behind me. I looked to him and nodded,knowing it was easier just to listen to their advice. I looked up to the fireman, and I assume that the look on my face showed my confusion. "Look around." He said quietly, leaning into me. As I did so I realized everyone around me were men, and all taller than 6 feet tall. I was 5'1, and a female.
"Aw hell we'll go in with her." One of the other firefighters said to the one standing next to me. I looked to him and smiled.
"Really?" I asked and he nodded, then instructed me to go inside and grab a disposable face mask and gloves. I did so and giddily followed on the heels of these two giants as we entered the building, face mask and gloves on.
The EMT's both looked to us and nodded us over. We walked over and I could tell where we were at by the smell alone. As we stood comfortably around a cot I saw the Intermediate talking to a young girl about my age, who looked to be in pain, but I wasn't sure what kind of pain. She held her abdomen tight, but held her bottom lip out and sat straight up, talking to us normally.
"Go ahead and sit on the stretcher." The Intermediate instructed the young woman and we quickly seat belted her in and started back out and into the rig, disposing of the face masks as we did so. The Intermediate jumped back into the drivers seat, and the Paramedic led the way for us through the back doors of the rig and we got the patient situated. After a moment I heard the Intermediate radio us to the hospital and we started on our way there.
"Alrighty Dani, you've been on a call before?" The Paramedic asked. I nodded and he smiled, ushering me to go ahead and do my thing.
"Do you have any allergies?" I asked her, she shrugged. "Are you on any medications, prescribed or recreational?" She nodded and handed us a large bag, that rivaled the size of a garbage bag from off her lap. I took the bag and opened it, looking at the medications. "Which ones do you take daily?" I asked her.
"Whichever ones I want to." She said. I tried to not let my jaw drop and question her mental capacity, but asked her if any were for medical conditions that she took on a daily basis. Again she shrugged.
"Do you have any medical conditions?" She shook her head no. "What was the last thing you had to eat or drink?"
"I don't know. Don't you get that?" She said, then faked a wincing pain. I looked at her, trying to hold an expressionless face, I looked to the Paramedic who shook his head and filled out the answers as she gave them.
"Alrighty then, what were you doing before the pain started?"
"I was sitting, just like this." She replied, the faked another pain. I looked to the Paramedic.
"Now, OPQRST works well." He said, "However, asking questions that work directly with this ...problem... work just as well." I nodded and turned to the patient, whose bottom lip was sticking out recordedly farther than before and her brow looked furrorwed.
"Are you pregnant?" I asked her. She shook her head no. "Are you sexually active, and if so, is there any chance you could be pregnant?" She just stared at me and the Paramedic looked to her, then to me, who was at a loss of what to do.
"Listen, the more you answer, the more I write, the more time you get at the ED."
"I was just sitting there and it hurt." She said, then faked a moan and looked to us.
The Paramedic set down his clipboard and explained to her that he was going to palpate her abdomen for any deformatites or abnormalities, we set the stretcher back and laid her flat and he palpated her abdomen. No reaction whatsoever, he sat back and wrote more information on his clipboard and then looked to me. From his look alone I could tell what it meant.
As we arrived at the ED a ER tech came running out excitedly, "What do we got?"
"Turkey Call." The Paramedic said quietly as we pushed her into the ED. I felt excited, being able to work with the patient, but at the same time sadly let down. You only get so many hours of clinical time on the rig and I wanted mine to be well spent.
I stood behind the Paramedic as he gave report to the Nurse, who sighed at the address alone that she was picked up at. The Paramedic nodded and kept on with his report, stating his finding and then turning to me, as I handed over the enormous bag of medications. The Nurse looked at me and noticed that my shirt said 'STUDENT' on it.
"Welcome to the game kid, get used to alot of this." She said, taking the meds, then walking into the patients room. The Paramedic looked at me and patted my back.
"Believe it or not, that was the best call I could've asked for you to go on." He said, showing me a big grin. "Lets re-stock the rig and get some grub."
As I helped the Intermediate re-stock the rig and played a short game of basketball with some ER Doctors, I had no idea why everyone thought that was a good call. We did nothing, not even an IV. But, the older I get, the more I'm starting to understand that the younger you learn it, the better you get at it.
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