Quotes and Qips

When I get worried, I turn to myself. It is a nasty habit, but its one I have found incredibly useful, and as this trick works more and more, I realize that maybe its not that bad for me. Then again, alcoholics and long-time smokers say the same thing.

I turned to my writing notebooks. I actually have a whole box full of notebooks, binders, spiral bound books and folders. To my parents dismay I wanted to keep most of my good writing and I dug into one of those boxes this afternoon, only to find the smallest blip of what I needed to get through tonight.

The vanilla color was faded into a deeper shade, resembling the tan shade that the army uses. This folder had been through alot and had no breaks, and from the scribblings on it I could tell it never had a chance to begin with. The edges were faded, and honestly I wasn't sure what I had kept it for, but then I took a closer look at the scribblings on it. It wasn't just the typical crap people write on folders, like who loves who, phone numbers and things we thought we would always remember and now cant deciepher, it was clear, conceise, and perfect.

"Never look back, Never look down, Never Let Go." It was the lyrics to a song that my partner in Basic class had found for us. It held such special meaning for me while we trained, and even more meaning when State HOSA testing had come and gone.

"It's after the storm, after the rush, after the heat of the moment that you realize why you do what you do." A Grey's Anatomy quote, and quite fitting. I can imagine an Ambulance, the back full of wrappers thrown haphazardly all around the ground, a small blood stain on the floor, the stretcher not quite locked in and two EMT's staring at each other, tired, exhaused, but making the save.

"I'm gonna go save lives!"

"Selfish people don't save lives!"

"It's a Name Alert!"
"You Dimwad! That's the Nurses name!"

"No man defines who you are!"

"First; Do No Harm "

"You can get through anything, all you have to do is survive."

"You and I both know its not what you look like, your job or how successful you are, its about having people in your life who love you and who you love. That is all that matters."

The last quote was written in big green letters, and I can tell from the way the handwriting looks, was written slowly and thoughtfully. As I read the quote I remember the first time I heard it, it was on an episode of Grey's Anatomy, the episode where the Ambulances crashed into each other, and they were trying to save the Paramedics hanging upside down. "Where I Stood" by Missy Higgins played in the background and the Chief looked to Meredith.

"That's the job." He tells her. "Look at me. This day- this day you feel helpless. This day makes all those other days when you fight to save a lige a loose. This day makes you grateful you have a chance to do anything at all. You take it in."